The Four Types of Cheaters. Is YOUR man one of them?

Happy Monday folks! I am so pleased to share this piece with you all! My awesome boyfriend/partner/best friend, whom you’ve seen splashed all over the blog and my social media, has penned this piece for MissNaja.com. Be sure to stay updated on the most recent articles and subscribe (for FREE) to MissNaja.com! Next week we will be going into more Detail into the MAN THAT WILL NEVER CHEAT.

A Man’s Perspective on Why Men Cheat and The Breakdown on THE FIVE TYPES OF MEN

We are living in an ever evolving, rapidly changing world. The advancements in technology have changed the way we think and communicate with each other. These changes affect things as simple as how we shop, or pay our bills to more complex concepts like how we meet people, communicate with them, and even how we DATE.

Dating apps literally offer a hodgepodge of choices.  At any given moment, the modern man could have a medley of thousands of prospective partners at their fingertips. For the easily distracted or uncommitted man, this could be a gift and a curse.

Clearly infidelity and a lack of monogamy has affected relationships since the beginning of time. Maybe it’s because I’m an adult, but it seems that now more than ever, the million dollar question has become Why  Do Men Cheat? While I don’t have the scientific, clinical answer to this query I would like to offer my own opinion and thoughts on this topic.

Contrary to what women think, the concept of men cheating is VERY, VERY complex. I say this because while there are hundreds of reasons that men cheat, sometimes there is no reason that a man cheats. Sounds contradictory right? Well such is the mind of a man which leaves the responsibility on a woman to figure things out. I think us men come in 5 main categories: Men who cheat, mean who have cheated, men who have not cheated, men who will never cheat and men who leave. I will describe a little about each man.

MEN WHO CHEAT

For some men, cheating is what they do. These men are the most complex and hard to understand because while they relish and bask in the comfort of a committed relationship; this same institution stifles and smothers the fire of excitement. For these men, cheating is a way to rekindle that fire while still having the comfort of the relationship.  The problem is that most men who fall into this category don’t really know that they are here. Many men who cheat will get caught and immediately make declarations of remorse and commitments to “never do it again” only to fall into the same behavior over and over again.

The sad part about this man is no woman will be enough. Women often think they’re to blame, but it’s simply not true. There is no physical description that can be given for this man as this way of life is a mindset. The most complex characteristic of this man is the fact that he IS CAPABLE OF LOVE and many times does truly love his woman, but in his case cheating is an addiction that will require real life intervention.

MEN WHO HAVE CHEATED

One might look at the titles and wonder what the difference is between a man who cheats and a man who has cheated. The answer is “A LOT”. Just because you cheated before does not make you a cheater. Some men cheat as a result of stress, or disrespect, or life events. These men who do it are capable of expressing remorse and simply turning away for the rest of their lives. This would be the same as trying alcohol and then figuring you did not like it so you never drink again.

When it comes to this man, the hard part is to understand the stimuli. What caused the need to cheat? Often this happens due to his inability to express a need or something that he is unhappy about. This does not make him a bad person, but means sometimes the woman has to listen to or read the nonverbal cues. You did not do something that he thought he wanted or needed and as a result he cheated. In order to prevent this you have to ask yourself these questions. What does your man complain about? What does he stress a special attraction to? If he complains about something that you don’t do, or if he gives special attention to a characteristic, trait, or quality that you don’t possess then this is a potential area of opportunity for cheating. The work comes in for the woman to identify these areas and decide if they are something that she can work with, or even comply with.

MEN WHO HAVE NOT CHEATED

The men who have not cheated are pure and genuinely want to be in a committed relationship. These men have all intentions and plans on being true to their woman and never stepping outside of the relationship. The mistake women make is they take this man for granted and they hurt him. Whether intentionally or unintentionally she causes some sort of pain to this man to which he may use cheating as a bandage. The danger with this man is the fact that cheating is his “bandage”. On one hand you know that if you never hurt him, he will never do it. On the other hand you know that the minute you hurt him, he will run to ease his pain. The problem here is that cheating is always an underlying possibility. The minute this man perceives himself as being taken for granted, cheating becomes an option.

 MEN WHO WILL NEVER CHEAT

Believe it or not, this man does exist. Unlike the “Men Who Have Not Cheated”, this man will sacrifice his own happiness and needs in order to preserve a relationship. Usually this man has a lot at stake and much invested in his relationship. He may also answer to a Higher Power, which may prevent him from succumbing to “earthly indiscretions”. Even if he is unappreciated, abused or unhappy, he will stay faithful.  In extreme cases, this man has probably been emasculated beyond recognition and his sense of self worth is void. However, all hope is not lost! There also exists a man that is completely comfortable and in love with his woman. He is quick to forgive and forget. He is very rational and understanding of a woman’s ever changing temperament and he is great at compromising. He will never cheat under any circumstances because he is utterly devoted to his relationship.

Lastly,

MEN WHO LEAVE

The last type of man is the one who will leave you. He prefers the confines and safety of a strong relationship, but if he was to identify an area of the relationship that was lacking and you were unwilling or unable to reasonably measure up he would leave. He is not self serving, but he does understand his value and thus seeks a partner that will maximize him.

If he thought there was something missing in your relationship and he felt the need to scratch the itch, he would leave you before cheating on you. If you hurt him beyond repair, and lost his trust he would leave you – not cheat on you.

Basically, there are good men out there. As if there is not enough pressure on women today, you also have the duty to cultivate an environment where a strong man can flourish and feel free to express himself. You have to be a woman who’s trustworthy and whose demeanor invites a man to open up to you with the understanding that he is safe with you. You have to display characteristics of virtue, confidence, and understanding. The only way to truly have what you want is to first give what you want to receive.

Be sure to stay updated on the most recent articles and subscribe (for FREE) to MissNaja.com! Next week we will be going into more Detail into the MAN THAT WILL NEVER CHEAT.

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